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Monday, November 30, 2009

You give me everything just by breathing

Currently listening to Another heart calls by AAR.

My feet are freezing and it's effin cold because of the rain. Current mood? Trying to figure out myself as well.

It's the last day of November so you know what that means right? I'm getting my allowance tomorrow(!) woot woot then I can update my shopping list, plus Mega Sale just started and it's everywhere ZOMG Cotton On, I'm cominggggggg! && I bet I'm gonna end up broke again this Dec :D


Btw, I've watched New Moon, where most girls are obsessed with the pale looking drug addict but surely not me. He is just not my thang okay? I read Twilight yet I didn't even finish it cause I'm not into blood sucking humans and stuffs so I'm only interested in watching the movies. Most people do agree that reading the novel before watching the movie will make it a spoiler cause it's more detail in the novel which tends to make you expect more when you watch the movie wtf I talk too much crap.

Well, moving on.

To me, I think the movie was okay. I love the animations and the pretty eyes of those vampires. Charming much :D All the lovey dovey quotes are indeed sweet but to an extend that I feel like vomitting cause it's giving me goosebumps LOL

I hate Bella Swan cause she looks stupid in every romantic scenes. Like common, you're an actress! Don't you have a better face expression than your um-I-am-so-horny-come-kiss-me face and yeah I hate you more cause you treat Jacob as a rebound.

So absolutely I'm on team Jacob because he is the sexiest creature alive. Love at first sight I tell you ♥♥

Bella Swan: You're sort of beautiful *drool*

He is not only beautiful you moron, he is really really hot with the short hair of course! His six packs just turns me on. The moment I saw him, I awwwwed and I think I almost faint. Come closer baby, I need a CPR LMAO && I love it when he said "What a marshmallow!" Can I be your wifey, pretty please? :D

I guess I'll rate this movie 8 out of 10.

Anyway, enough about New Moon ugh I can't wait to have nasi lemak for breakfast tomorrow. Oh calories T_________________T

Pardon me for the crappy vocab and sucky grammar. I'm too lazy to bother anything right now.

Before that, please click on my ads okay people? (:

Fin.

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Please be carfeul with my heart



It's Christmas and New Year soon and I seriously need one of these. I want a camera so badly to capture every beautiful moments I'm having

Owning a DSLR definitely sounds great(!) or a high mega pixel digital camera would be nice too.

I would die to have one, I KNOW THIS MAY SOUNDS RIDICULOUS BUT YEAH IT'S THE TRUTH.

I WANT ONE AND I NEED ONE FOR GOD'S SAKE.

Mummy, please oh pretty please? I bet she'll answer; "In your dreams."

*dreams shattered*

xx

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Sunday, November 29, 2009

How I wish I can lie on those fluffy cotton candy clouds

I'm back to my hostel :D I shouldn't be excited cause Elin and Suzen are not here, so apparently I'm the only Chinese at home. Anyway, that doesn't bother me that much. I'm okay on my own, *trying to convince everyone* LOL

I went back all the way from Klang to my hostel on my own today cause my sister's boyfriend can't send me back this week. They sent me to the KTM station and accompanied me for a while, they worried too much I guess. I'm doing fine like always, I'm 8teen remember? But then the waving game was fun and yeah it was really nice of them to accompany me. I shouldn't be complaining when I have such a caring sister *wink cause I know she will be reading this hahas* Anyway, I felt like a grown up LMAO cause I'm independent and I'm able to make my way home. I took the KTM and then a public bus to Mutiara Damansara and crossed two huge busy roads and luckily I still survived. Okay, sorry for exaggerating. It took me around 2 hours and yeah I'm proud of myself yaw :D What an achievement!

Can you spot me?

I unpacked my stuffs once I reached my hostel and do some chores. I'm just in the mood for everything. I even do my laundry, cleaned my study table and dining table as well. Growing up right? I know I know :D

Anyway, it's a great Sunday although I'm not enjoying myself shopping or doing whatsoever thing that I used to do. I'm just thankful for today cause it's been a while that I'm having this feeling. No worries, no pressure, it's so relaxing I tell you (:

I miss my little brat! Don't you feel like pinching her chubby cheeks? :D

I'll be counting the days till I meet her, 2 months and one week. I'll buy her stuffs this time, I PROMISE. She loves me so do I ♥♥

Last but not least, don't forget to click on my ads people. My readers are increasing lately. I perhaps that's a good news? Yes, of course it is (: I love my readers and thanks for reading my boring blog.

Fin.

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Saturday, November 28, 2009

Just pull the trigger for fuck sake

I'm in a severely major fucked up situation right now. My tummy is being a bad bad pain in my ass and I can't study cause my Biology textbook and my Chem's notes don't seem to attract me much to make me flip through them FML

Anyway, I've finished watching ANTM le cycle 13 with my sister but we didn't like the winner so yeah, what a greaaaaat Saturhday and at this moment I think I should stop acting like a whiny bitch!

*mouth zipped*



OMFG, this guy is so adorable. *melts* Can you be my boyfie?!

Click on my ads people and I really appreciate if you do so (:

Fin.

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Friday, November 27, 2009

Maybe this is how our cookies crumble

System switched to lazy mode.

It feels more like a Sunday to me today and I'm currently listening to Russian Roulette by Rihanna (:

OMFG I've been sleeping my ass off for the whole day, or 14 hours to be exact and now I feel slightly better than any other day of this week. My sis on the other hand went to Sunway Pyramid today and spoiled herself in Cotton On and yeah I hate her cause I'm jealous! I so gonna shop there next month! I promised myself that hahas

Next up will be Desperate Housewives marathon(!) and I've finished 3 episodes of ANTM yaw :D
I wish I have more movies or drama to watch just to kill my time cause I'm kinda sick of going online. Everything seems bored to me lately. It's always the same old thang sigh Mum even asked me to sleep since I have nothing better to do. How come she didn't ask me to study? WAY TO GO MUM!

I called home the last two days ago and poor Megan is sick and my parents had to cancel their trip to Miri. She's suspected to have coxsackie since she had those red spots on her hands and feet. When I called home again today, she told me that the spots has disappeared and Mum even claimed that the doctor fooled them LMAO!

Nowadays, I tend to crave for all kinds of food. From Chocolate Indulgences from Secret Recipe to McD's Mcflurry and also rendang but the thing is I don't wanna gain weight! T3T I'm fat fat fat fat fat and I have big thighs ): Maybe it's time to live a healthy lifestyle which is quite impossible for a lazy bum like me. That and I think I've mentioned this before but then I never got around to it So, 8 glasses of water per day, more veggies and fruits, workouts thrice a week, eat my meal on time. I think I'm gonna need someone to push me or maybe a reward will help? *wide grin*

My hair is growing and I don't have the intention yet to cut it because I just wanna let it grow. Long hair for new year probably? I might dye it again for CNY. Speaking of the very festival, I'm uber excited because my sister has bought the air-tickets so now it's confirmed that I'll be going back for almost 2 weeks(!) woot woot It'd better be more happening than last year but what matter the most is my family. Aww, I can't wait for goodness sake.

On a sad case, my condolences and deepest sympathy to Lai Raxinan on his loss of his beloved father early this morning who passed away after suffering from a cancer. May his soul rest in peace and may God bless. I wish I'm there for you, be strong okay? Lots of love from me.

Anyway click on my ads okay people? Goodbye.

Fin.


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Thursday, November 26, 2009

You mean the world to be but you'll never know

I'm still tired and I need some sleep. Please bear with me will you?

Last night was fun but not quite happening like what I've expected. Prolly I will get the photos by next week so yeah just stay tuned for future updates. Okay, enough said.

Thank God I'm on holiday cause this is what I need the most right now but still there is test coming up next week, crap much.

New Moon is out && I'm so gonna watch it asap(!)

I have no idea what I'm rambling. Anyway again my head is spinning real fast and I'm filled with ultra sadness this minute for no reason. I don't feel like dressing up. I don't feel like laughing. It's creepy cause I've not been myself for a week and to me this is no laughing matter. What if it leads to mental breakdown? Fkfkfkfk. Take me with you. Without you everything just falls apart. It's not as much fun to pick up the pieces. You're my perfect drug.

People, go ahead and shoot me in my head. I know that is what you feel when you're reading my endless crap post but I don't fucking care. But before that, click on my ads pls? Thank you very very much.

Fin.

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Actually maybe




"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness."
- Woody Allen

Make sense much? I don't have a mind of a creative writer like him, so I don't really get what he meant. Perhaps you know what this crap is trying to tell you?

xx

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Keep my hands warm, please?

I'm currently blogging in my classroom cause I have nothing better to do while waiting for Belinda, Joe Ann and Aainaa to come for our last dance rehearsal. I can't bear to stay any longer in this freezing classroom. I did something really stupid, I brought my laptop but forgot to bring my laptop charger. So now I'm using Fahmi's laptop to update :D

Heh. So yeah few hours till tonight and everyone is busy with their own stuffs yet I'm still free to go online and fool around with the webcam hahas

I can't promise an update about tonight dinner with loads of pictures and videos cause I don't have a camera with me now ): but I'll try okay :D

Anyway, have a nice day people :D Much love from Hilda and don't forget to click on my ads okay?

Fin.

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I'm infected by the sound

I feel like a huge mess and I'm stucked here in the same spot. I'll be doing fine, yeah I guess so.

Tomorrow is the big day and I hope I don't screw up the dance. The thing is, I'm not excited and I don't get the point of going gaga and super excited for the dinner like most of my classmates did. Why oh why?

Off to bed early tonight cause I'm too tired. I'm going to be real busy tomorrow, rehearsal and stuffs and of course getting ready for the dinner.

Oh btw, congrats FIS on the sucess of MQA's recognition.

Click on my ads eh? Thanks.

Fin.

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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Cloud above dream

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be”
- George Sheehan

Have you reached the point of your life when they tell you it's time to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life? What if you don't know what you want? What if your dreams weren't really what you love?


Maybe yes. Maybe no. I'll go where the wind blows me to.
What about you? What do you want to do?

I think I know what I want to be, though I'm not even half way through it. I know I'll be on the end of the road in five years time. I am aware that the climb will be steep and the battle ahead will be long, but I'll remember no matter what obstacles stand in my way, I'm ready to give in all my effort to make my dream comes true, most importantly to make my family and loved ones proud. They are the reason for me to fight this battle and defeat failure so that I will rise up with much victory.

It's time to grow up ( I have no idea how many times I'd told myself to) but yeah, it's time Hilda, it's time.

I believe that everyone has their own ambitions. It's sad if you don't have one. If you find something that could be good, you should hang onto it and achieve it. To be good enough, is not enough, when you dream of being great. Note that. (:

Fin.

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and honey, it might not be the same tomorrow

"If only i could hold on to a second or two just to get close to you, I'll never let this chance slip away so easily."



"We were perfectly flawed but we didn't mind."


"I'll do anything,everything to make you love me a hundred times more than you do yesterday. and that's gonna be my daily routine."

I could spill my entire heart out into one of these pathetic little boxes, and still not feel any better. I need a PERSON to tell. Someone with feelings. Someone who will listen. Someone that will hug me and say that everything will be okay. Someone who will call me back even though I hang up on them. I need that person in my life more than I need to fucking breathe.


I'll never forget such a sweetheart. Nevertheless, I apologise for acting weird sometimes but I'm fine and will be fine. Being paranoic can be misleading sometimes, I hope you understand. I hope you no longer be bitter and try to be romantic okay? and if someday you come to a point and realise you no longer feel as deep for me, please be honest with me.

No matter how many times he hurts me, I'll always forgive him. Some call it stupid, I call it love.

You're not alone, I'm here to stay cause I'm not going anywhere. Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide, but I love you, until the end of time. You've always been a dear to me, though we hardly see each other. No one has ever been of such encouraging soul like you do and even though you can't be there for me 24/7. You're just that someone who gives in so much when the world crashes on me, and it doesn't affect you in any way because deep down you know I need you there. Whatever it is, I thank Mother Earth for your presence and may all good things last fruitfully. It may make me sounds like a broken record, but still, I love you baby.

Always, all ways.

"Baby tonight belongs to us
Everything’s right, do what you must
& inch by inch we get closer & closer
To every little part of each other ooh baby, yeah
What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust"

xx

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Saturday, November 21, 2009

When you're not around

I'm back to my four walled cell now. I'm bloated and still staring at my unfinished fried kueh tiao and murtabak daging. I think I'll just throw them away, I seldom eat leftovers hahas Belinda and I went to Sungai Buloh today, where Elin's Mum's shop is to be exact, to sew my dinner dress. There's nothing much to sew actually, just to add in another two layer of netting to make my dress more puffy since my dress is quite plain. It took us around 15 minutes to get there and one hour to finish everything. We went to the pasar malam nearby after that and was so excited when we saw stalls after stalls selling all kinds of yummy food which are really cheap! I had apam balik, jagung bakar and fried popiah. They were finger licking good man!

Then Belinda sent me back to my hostel and I was sad to find no one here. I'm actually scared being alone sigh so I called Mum because I missed her call before. I didn't get to talk to Megan though and only God knows how much I missed her.


I wish I was back at home now because she's already on school holidays! I used to babysit her during her holidays but now I missed that. I wanted to be there during her graduation and help her to prepare for going to Primary One. I missed fighting over the remote control and drumsticks with her. I missed shouting at her when she's having her sweet time in the shower. I missed putting on pyjamas for her. I missed carrying her tuition bag for her. I missed sleeping with her where she will kick me in the middle of the night. I missed ignoring her when she comes over to my room for a bedtime story. I missed bullying her to make her mad and I missed her laughter for sure. Thinking of all these starts to make my eyes tearing up. Seriously I miss home and I hope time could fly faster so that I will be home soon by mid Feb 2010!

Fin.

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Let me get what I want this time

Happy Sa-turh-day peepos (:

I think there's something wrong with my lappy ): The screen turns black every 20 minutes and it remains the same when I click anything. The only way is to switch it off and switch it on again. Sigh. You better don't die or else I'll die too.

I went to KL for the second time this week with Belinda, yeah just the two of us. We're supposed to go there in the morning but we overslept. So we went there around evening and look around for my clutch and her heels. There was this chinese restaurant in Sg. Wang which caught in fire, I think nobody was hurt. Police and firemen are all over the place and the scenery was epic LOL Enough about the fire, moving on. We found lace dresses in Time Squares which are cheaper than those in online boutiques. Then we went to Pavillion after that and rushed back to catch the monorail and LRT. We reached home around 12am and my feet hurt like hell.

The rumours about the storm/snow that will occur in KL on 20th Nov at 7pm is so not true. It didn't even rain heavily that time. Screw that bugger who spread that and guess what even my Biology lecturer believed that LMAO

Anyway, it was fun but we didn't take much photos this time cause we're too busy finding our stuffs . Good day though ♥

P/s: Click on my ads (:

Fin.

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I love you more than the stars in the sky


Should i give it a try & risk it all?


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Thursday, November 19, 2009

You're banging like a speakerbox

Now my cough is like a rhythm, I'll cough in like every 20 secs and man it's hell irritating I tell you. Maybe I should take cough syrup or tablets. I can't stand it anymore because it's a dry cough I'm having now. Who knows I may suffocate in any minutes and then RIP. This ain't no laughing matter cause I think people around me is starting to cough too. Aww, my bad D:

I'm sleeping over at Belinda's house tonight and tomorrow. We have some plans to do these few days *grinnnn* Today was really tiring because we're quite busy with classes and dance rehearsal. I was glad that we almost finish learning all the dance moves and I bet with a few more practices, it will be perfect but it's hard memorising all those steps and in the meantime putting them all together. I need to be graceful and sexy; not a stick LOL



God, I hope that this weekend doesn't end as fast as last week. I beg you. Anyway, please be kind enough to click on my ads people! Thanks. Click as much as you can okay? :D

Do you have any idea how much I miss you? Sigh.

Fin.
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Am I fighting for nothing?

I went to bed crying again last night. I'm such a baby right? To be honest, I'm just scared of being alone.

COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH
COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHHHHH(!)
I feel like coughing out all my internal organs and puke blood all over the place. It's taking a quarter of my life already. I should stop drinking cold drinks if I really wanna get well but I just can't resist. Help, I don't want to DIE!

xx


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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Nearly and almost

And as I lay me down tonight,
I close my eyes, what a beautiful sight.

Sleeping to dream about you
and I’m so damn tired.
Of havin’ to live without you
But I, I don’t mind.
Sleeping to dream about you and I’m so tired.
Oh, yes I am

-Sleeping to dream, Jason Mraz

Isn't it ironic that we ignore those who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love the ones who hurt us?

I'm afraid you can't

Currently, I'm busy with my FIS annual dinner next Wednesday. I've done with the backdrop with my friends today and I'm glad that Mr Chan was pretty satisfied with our job (: So now I had my dress and heels but I still can't find a red velvet clutch D: Can anyone tell me where can I find it? Btw, I will perform a dance that night of course not alone but with my four other friends, you're gonna think I'm crazy but who cares so yeah I'll be one of the Wondergirls LOLOLOLOL Getting all the dance steps coordinated is not a very easy task for a girl who pratically don't know how to dance okay and you have no idea how does it feels to dance in heels! I'll secretly pray that you're not going to faint the very moment I start dancing hahahahas *finger crossed, eyes closed; AMEN!*

How can I get rid of this annoying cough? It's killing me *coughcough* and this flu too ugh ugh

P/S: I am really loving "Bad Romance" right now. It might not be as catchy as her previous songs but this horribly nice song and lyrics sink deeply into me, now I can't stop myself from singing that song over and over again. The music video is just amazing! Rah rah ah-ah-ah! Ro mah ro-mah-mah! Gaga Oo-la-la! :D

Don't forget to click on my ads peepos. Pretty please?

Fin.

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Maybe tomorrow,

it will be another bright sunny day. I just can't stand when it rains non stop and yeah, I skipped my first IT class today. I bet it's gonna be boring so I went to One Utama with Belinda, Elin and Suzen to stroll around and have Big Apple Donuts.

Now I'm happy and so is my tummy (:

Psst. I love you. Is that okay?

xx

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Drained to the bone

"I don't think love is just another lie, to be completely honest. Love isn't being inflatuated or heartsick or simply young. Love is whatever you want it to be, because we're not all the same, our lives swim in different waters, and our heartbeats never collide. So stop saying that we don't know what love is. We're young, and unique, and beautiful, and wholesomely, in love."


Today was one of the best Mondays ever(!) because I heard 'I got a feeling' by BEP for like four times on the radio today. So that explained all don't you think? (:

I was so lazy to wake up early this morning but I have to force my lazy ass to get a quick shower and ready for college. I had Physics lecture this morning, ended half an hour early and the Maths lecture in the afternoon was called off so we (Belinda, Elin, Suzen, Joe Ann and I) planned to go to KL that afternoon to search for their dinner dresses. So Belinda, Aina and I rushed back to Belinda's crib just to get her DSLR within 30 minutes before our next Biology lecture. Yeah, crazy I know :D It was raining and there was traffic jam when we're on our way back to the college. We're 20 minutes late yet we found out that our Biology lecturer didn't turn up for lecture wtf We took our sweet time and reached class 15 minutes later to finish our tutorials and left for KL around 1pm. We went to Pavillion and Time Squares, since I already bought my dress earlier, I ended up wasting my money buying unnecessary stuffs again LOL & oh oh I tried on a wig. Long curly brown wig and I've decided to keep my hair long again after this, it's a MUST and they said I look girly in long hair pfft We drove here and there, lost and caught in traffic yet finally we reached home at 10pm. Anyway, I really had a great time strolling around and hanging out with them, like I always do but most importantly we took lots of pictures C: Gonna wait Miss Belinda Dwee to edit and upload them in fb ♥♥♥

Mind my slutty English, I'm just to tired to type properly. Brain certainly is not functioning at this moment and I might doze off anytime soon~ Freaking Tuesday is coming tomorrow, ugh ugh!

P/S: Good luck to all those sitting for SPM. Make sure History don't kill you first :D Try to survive for another 3 weeks to pure freedom!

Click on my ads puh-lease? Thankyouveryveryveryverymuch :D

Fin.

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Sunday, November 15, 2009

Swiped, let me pour a little


Out of a sudden, I'm feeling homesick after Mum called earlier tonight.

I'm missing you people back at home really badly.

I feel like going back this Dec, if that is possible.

How I wish I'm in my cosy little room at this very moment.

I'm feeling at my lowest right now and I couldn't find the right word to describe myself, only if you would understand.

xx


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Saturday, November 14, 2009

I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand

I wonder how that kiss would feel like *raise eyebrows* Actually that was pointless. Randomly took it from Lady Gaga's Bad Romance. Fyi, I just suck in giving my post a title.

Currently listening to Consequence by The Notwist (:

I went to college this morning because there was an event organized by my class.

Shut up, the world won't end in 2012!

I'm jealous because most of my friends get to watch it on the premiere day but I don't. Nevermind, I get to watch it today hurrah!

Belinda, Joe Ann, Sie Yee, Suzen and I headed to Cineleisure to watch this movie that most of us were more than eager to watch. By the time we were there, the tickets were selling fast but we're lucky enough to watch the movie on 2.40pm or else we gonna wait for another 3 hours for the next showtime. The starting of the movie was quite boring but then the animations and graphics were superb I tell you. It just feel so real and you could feel the terror when the disasters came LOL and you wont believe this - I cried for like 6 times. Yea, not thrice but 6 times! It was so touching everytime the movie portrayed the moment of fatherly love and it reminded me of my Dad. It made me realise that life is really short and it's in the will of God. Eventually, I will learn how to appreciate everything and everyone around me. The movie was eye opening too. In this world today there's no such thing as free lunch. No money no talk. You can't imagine how cruel selfish and evil mankind can be for the sake of themselves. It's an effin materialistic world out there people. People, I think we should start saving 1 euro billion or else we're gonna die in vain hahas

Overall, I give 8.5 out of 10 for that movie (Y) but yet it's not one of the best movie ever.

Oh oh btw, I watched new moon trailer (!) and Taylor Lautner was oh so mouth watering. He is indeed the man whom I can't resist. I'm not a fan of guys with huge buffs and sixpacks but Taylor's one is really hot I tell you. Aww, I like :D 2 more weeks to go and I can't wait to watch it.

In case, I can't make it into the medical field, I should consider being a journalist but I bet I will fail for that too cause my vocabulary sucks much I admit LOL

Fin.

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Friday, November 13, 2009

Quick update #4

I'm pretty much worn out lately. Sacrificing my sleep is something that I severely dislike to do but I have no choice.

I have to go to college on Friday this week and next week FML

My eyelids are so heavy now. They're like, opened 1/4 and they are about to close any minute. They feel so horridly, tired. My brain is definitely not functioning right. And my head's spinning. I can't think of anything proper to say right now. I'll update my blog tomorrow.

Thousand apologies. I need some sleep. Goodnight.

Click on my ads okie?

xx

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

You fill me with sunshine

Boo! The ghost of me is back to haunt you.

I'm back to life (resurrected?) because someone managed to give me CPR just on time before I lost my last breath haha

Will you kiss me if I have swine flu? LOL

Today is one of the nuttiest days I ever have. I was feeling grumpy and exhausted the whole day apparently after too much crying, ended up getting sick hurrah! I got this annoying nose block with a sore throat when I woke up this morning. Even my voice sounds different which means sexier :D Then, just now I got this massive headache after I had my shower sigh Plus, Elin is not around so I have to cook my own dinner. My life looks so miserable now, don't you think? Anyway I'm feeling much better now after talking to Mum and that someone. It's a good thing to know that you will be always there for me ♥ So yeah, Thank God I'm okay now. (:

Reminder #1035: Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, take it as an experience (like what happened yesterday) I should learn to take my own responsibility.

I should be studying for my Chemistry now. I got loads of definitions to memorize pfft click on my ads yo

Fin.

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

This could be the very minute I’m aware I’m alive

In Loving Memory of Hilda Teo

25th September 2009 - 10th November 2009

Cause of death: Pwned by Physics' test

Life is pretty fucking bleak as I'd always said. Even my readers are getting less and less cause my life is nothing close to happiness but boring and dull and emo pffffft Do you have that moment of your life when you feel like giving up and just hide somewhere else where no one can find you? I hate myself more than anything right now. I'm starting to fall apart like those days and trust me I'm not okay. I miss having those who cares for me around me yet they're so far away. To set the record straight, this is my first time handing in the answer sheet with not even 1/4 of the questions answered. Dreadful, I tell you. I've never been this pathetic before and this is why I'm so disappointed of myself. I don't feel like doing the test right away, I just sat there and staring on my paper blankly. I don't know what had gotten into me but I knew that I need someone to give me a wake up call or just rip my head. I'm not blaming anyone for this, I know it's my own fault. I'm not growing up. I can't go on like this. This is serious. I feel like listening to sad sad songs and cry my whole heart out.


You just don't understand.

Note to future self: Sorry I failed you.

xx

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Monday, November 9, 2009

That doesn't make much sense,

I never said it did cause everything is never as it seems.

Today is a goodbad day.

MU broke my heart for the 3rd time because they lost to Chelsea. What's wrong with them? I wish I know the answer but too bad I don't pfft Maybe it's their so called new strategy -_-

The weather has been a bitch lately. I love rainy season but not when I'm outside w/o an umbrella. I was soaking in the rain this evening and I hope that I'm going to fall sick anytime soon hahas

Guess what? I found out there's a thing that I can't live w/o - COOKING GAS. I know it's lame but you have no idea how important it is to me. As you all know, cooked food always tastes better than raw food right? Haha wtf I'm rambling about That's not the point. The point is I've been starving for 2 hours just to wait that effin' cooking gas to be sent to my house so that I can cook my dinner. I'm pretty sure I'll die in 24 hours if I'm living in Africa now sheesh

So I have Physics for dinner, Physics for dessert, Physics for supper and probably Physics for breakfast. I bet I'm going to have a Physics-tastic day tomorrow(!) and soon enough I will be found dead right after the test because I had over dosage of Physics. YEAH FML cause I don't feel like studying for my Physics test tomorrow. Elin and Suzen were taking their sweet time too. Mr. Chan warned us that the paper will be spicy so it kinda kills my intention to study cause I think that I may not be able to answer even if I study. My sixth sense feels that I'm going to flunk this test either. Brilliant much don't you think? Thinking of the cold examination hall, I'm nervous already *faints out* Oh God, I'm such a pessimist T.T

And really, I should seriously stop procrastinating D: Okay I should really get to study now. Can anyone please inspire me to love Physics? Sigh.

Good luck to all those who are going to sit for SPM and finals this month. All the best!

Continue to click on my ads btw :D Thankyouverymuch!

Fin.

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Sunday, November 8, 2009

25 things I want in a lover ♡♡

#1 Someone who makes me wake up smiling for no reason at all.
#2 Someone who makes my day, everyday.
#3 Someone who would be my partner in crime.
#4 Someone who would never forget to melt my heart.
#5 Someone whose actions speak louder then words.
#6 Someone who will never leave without goodbye.
#7 Someone with eyes so beautiful they make me wish you didn’t blink.
#8 Someone who is a part time lover and a full time friend.
#9 Someone who isn’t afraid to wipe away my tears.
#10 Someone who will hold my hands and then smile when I look at them in wonder.
#11 Someone who would lay me on their chest whenever I’m tired or sleepy.
#12 Someone that cares to listen to my pointless stories.
#13 Someone that will never run out of things to say.
#14 Someone who is not too proud to say I’m sorry.
#15 Someone who thinks that I’m the best thing that ever happened.
#16 Someone who doesnt need a reason to say “I love you”.
#17 Someone who gets that I’m not always going to be happy go lucky.
#18 Someone who will be my pillow when I’m down.
#19 Someone who’ll take me to the beach and build a sand castle with me.
#20 Someone who is willing enough to wait while I shop all day long.
#21 Someone who won’t mind my indecisiveness about the littlest things.
#22 Someone to warm up my cold hands.
#23 Someone who will stay up extremely late with me when I am working and need
another person to keep me sane.
#24 Someone who would court me every single day of our lives together.
#25 Someone who will sing with me all the songs on the radio.

Why 25? Because 25 is my favourite number (:

xx

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Friday, November 6, 2009

If everyone cared,

the world will be a better place to stay

&&

it makes people feels that there's hope in life :)



xx

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