Am I fighting for nothing?

I went to bed crying again last night. I'm such a baby right? To be honest, I'm just scared of being alone.

COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH
COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHHHHH(!)
I feel like coughing out all my internal organs and puke blood all over the place. It's taking a quarter of my life already. I should stop drinking cold drinks if I really wanna get well but I just can't resist. Help, I don't want to DIE!

xx